The phenomenon of grey nomad sleep divorce is seemingly surging, and it’s giving tradition-busting travellers the snooze of their lives.
While the idea of sleeping in a separate bed to a partner was once seen as a stigma-laced taboo, it’s recently been gaining plenty of traction both in general society, and among the on-the-road community.
Grey nomad Rowley Moore and wife Jayne are classic examples. As well as winding down the legs on their caravan, part of Rowley’s setting-up duties now include erecting a small tent next to the van which he has dubbed ‘Snorer’s Lodge’.
“Banishment is quite a common occurrence,” he laughs.
Solo sleep is gaining popularity PIC: Pexels
While there are no definitive statistics about how many couples sleep separately, it is thought around 30-35% or so. Jennifer Adams, the author of ‘Sleep Divorce: How to sleep apart, not fall apart’, says she senses the practice is becoming more socially acceptable and more common.
Rowley Moore sets up his ‘Snorer’s Lodge’
And she makes the point that it is especially important for grey nomads to get a good night’s rest as they commonly face long Outback drives.
“Meeting the social norm of sharing a bed because you are a couple should not be prioritised over ensuring you have enough sleep to keep you, your partner, and other drivers on the road safe,” Ms Adams said. “Driving when you are tired is unacceptable.”
Of course, loud snoring and ‘tossing and turning’ are among the key reasons that some couples choose to sleep apart, but grey nomads might also be particularly affected by sticky nights in tropical heat.
“I certainly couldn’t imagine getting any sleep in a hot van with a person snoring next to me,” said Ms Adams, who has been sleeping apart from her husband for many years.
But she appreciates that some grey nomads might feel uncomfortable about asking their partner to find another place to sleep.
“Some older people have strong reactions to the idea because of their generational adherence to what one ‘should do’ rather than what one ‘wants to do’,” said Ms Adams.
Jenny Adams is the author of ‘Sleep Divorce’
Of course, grey nomads seeking a sleep divorce face the added challenge of limited separate bed options in confined quarters … and not everyone is happy to sleep in a little tent outside the van!
Ms Adams suggests staying in a van park cabin or occasionally getting a motel as possible solutions, although she appreciates that does have budgetary implications for grey nomads.
And, of course, there has also been a major trend towards ever larger caravans and motorhomes.
“I think, as this type of lifestyle becomes more accessible to people, there was bound to be an evolution in vans,” said Ms Adams. “I would not be surprised if having multiple sleeping options has been informed by separate sleeping … certainly, if a couple struggles to share a bed, a van with two separate sleeping areas would be ideal.”
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Been happily married for 38 years. Nearly all of those years, we’ve had separate bedrooms as lm a toss and turner. We both like our separate spaces. In the van, we sleep in the queen size bed but head to toe. Works OK.
Collins.
Our last 3 Vans have had single beds. The reason is that one can get up for the night duties without disturbing the other. If a closer engagement is needed then one single bed is all that is needed.
Single beds really come into their own if one partner is ill such as a heavy cold or a small injury.
We sleep in single bed in the van and separate rooms at home .nothing like a good night sleep
My wife and I have just embarked on a two year trip around Australia in our 16 foot Sunland single axle Caravan . We put a lot of thought in our custom made Blue Heeler and went for two single beds and even though we had to be more strategic when feeling a bit friendly we don’t regret our choice. We have our own space. We can still face each other and use the single beds like divans with a portable table in between and a BIG plus in design is hatches can be put under the single beds that accessible from the outside. We never like the idea of having batteries and equipment stored under a queen size bed that had to be lifted from inside the van. We now have a joke that we started off as cellmates and ended up as soulmates .