Dear Jaclyn and Heidi,
I love life on the road but I’m terrified it is costing me my relationship with my beautiful grandchildren. After six months travelling we have noticed that our contact with our five grandchildren aged between five and 13 is lessening almost by the day. Often now when we phone to talk to our son and daughter we are told ‘the children are out’ or are ‘just in the middle of something’. Before we left, we used to babysit the children a lot when their parents were out at work and I just hate to gradually ‘lose’ them. We’ve tried emailing the kids directly and even texting those with phones but responses have been patchy. Hubbie Tim and I love the grey nomad lifestyle but this sense that I’m losing something far more important in the process is breaking my heart.
Deb
Don’t give up, Deb. You’re a mother and a grandmother and I’m afraid both of those jobs are thankless ones for a lot of the time. You’ve been through the teenage years with your son and daughter so you know that communication is commonly a one-way street. Persevere. Send those emails, send those texts, keep making those phone calls, and treasure the times when you do get feedback. Try different things. Send the kids some crazy ‘selfies’ of Grandma and Grandad in amazing places, write a humorous blog, hook up the Skype with stunning locations or animals in the background. Don’t be a defensive ‘why don’t you want to talk to me’ Granny. Be a fun, active interesting Granny. You are lucky to have them as Grandchildren, but boy are they lucky to have you as a Grandma, too!
Jaclyn
News flash, Deb. Children are self-absorbed, selfish, greedy, argumentative and ungrateful little so-and so’s. They live in the moment, and only understand the here-and-now. Of course, their immediate priorities have shifted since you headed off into the wild, red yonder. Most of them won’t understand why you’ve gone, they’ll just know you are gone. They will focus their attention on the new person or persons that babysits them, makes their lunches, and takes them to the toilet. That’s life. Do all you can to keep in contact with the children while travelling, and comfort yourself with the thought that, in a few weeks or months, your grandchildren’s here-and-now will once again include you. In the meantime, don’t let what you haven’t got spoil your enjoyment of what you have.
Heidi
