Hubby is ‘Mr Cool’

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J discover a too relaxed grey nomad

Dear Jaclyn and Heidi,
We are setting off around  Australia in less than three months and my husband, Colin, is driving me around the bend with his super relaxed ‘she’ll be right’ attitude. I’ve always been the planner and the organiser in our family and Colin’s been more casual but he’s taking it way too far now. He’s refusing to be pinned down on even the most basic elements of our trip. I can’t even get him to say which direction we are going to head off in when we pull out of the driveway. He just says ‘whichever way the mood takes us on the day’. I understand that part of the joy of the Big Lap is the freedom it offers, but you can get too much of a good thing, right? Shouldn’t we at least plan our itinerary for the first week?
Terri

Will she really be right? Wow! I guess you and Colin really do have a diametrically opposed view of how to approach this trip, Terri. I understand Colin’s desire to shake off the shackles of what was probably an overly structured working life, but it’s all about balance. In the end this is both of your dreams, and there is no point in one of you being super relaxed if a lack of planning is leaving the other stressed, miserable and anxious. Of course, you should have some sort of discussion about a general plan and it is not unreasonable to want to know whether you are heading south or north, west or east. You seem to be sensitive to Colin’s need for greater freedom while travelling. Maybe Colin should be more sensitive to your needs and personality traits. Talk to him, Terri. You can make this work.
Jaclyn

I shouldn’t panic, Terri. It sounds to me like Colin is doing a bit of ‘posing’ which all men are prone to do from time to time. I’d be interested to know how ‘Mr Cool, Calm and Collected’ reacts when he finds himself desperately seeking a place to set up camp for the night after darkness has descended and it’s pouring down rain. Or how ‘Mr I Don’t Care Which Direction We Go’ will feel when he’s huddled up in the Tasmanian snow in July, or sweating buckets in the tropical north in January. Just play along with him, Terri. It’s a shame he doesn’t want to help plan, but that’s his choice. Just work out an itinerary, make your bookings, and then just let him think he is making the decisions as he goes. I’ve got a funny feeling you’ll mysteriously end up going just where you want to, Terri!
Heidi

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