Robert and Pam in a hot air balloon on their wedding day
It is sometimes easy for grey nomads to take for granted the amazing lifestyle they are privileged enough to enjoy.
Caravanners and motorhomers can become complacent about the succession of incredible sunsets they witness, the camaraderie of the campsites they stay at, the beauty of the country they travel in … and even the partner they commonly share it all with.
Couples travelling in paradise can bicker about cooking, disagree about plans for the day, and argue about caravan reversing ‘issues’. For those people, grey nomad Robert King has some heartfelt advice … ‘treasure every moment together and never ever go to bed angry with each other’.
Robert and wife Pam lived on the road for 14 glorious years, travelling by the motto ‘Subject to change without notice’ and being forever grateful for their lifestyle … and for each other. The couple met in August, 1997, when Robert moved to the coast to buy a property and fate brought him to Pam, a real estate agent. They married in January, 2001.
“Pam and I were hopelessly in love,” said Robert. “We did quirky things together, like getting married in a hot air balloon at 1700ft in the air.”
They began travelling the country in their caravan in 2002 and were eventually joined by Zanda, their beloved Blue Point Himalayan Persian cat.
“For 14 years we roamed Australia, we made some incredible friends and saw some amazing places,” said Robert. “But the joy was living in a confined space and making it work … we did everything together, no matter what, even down to the washing.”
And then in 2015, Pam’s health started to fail. She was found to have osteoporosis with multiple compressed fractures, and was then diagnosed with Polymyalga Rheumatica, a nasty syndrome that can cause pain throughout the body.
Robert and Pam decided it was time to wind down from travelling and signed a contract to buy a beautiful new home on the New South Wales Tweed Coast. However, exactly one week later, Pam was told she had a large tumour in the right lung, and then told she had Stage 4 terminal lung cancer and less than six months to live.
The couple was devastated, but Robert had to stay strong for his wife.
“I practically lived at the hospital, trying to support her in every way,” he said. “She was declining day by day but I was there all of her waking day.”
When the couple’s new house settled, Pam was allowed to move into her dream home where she could wake up each day and see the sugar cane she loved so much. A week later, she was even strong enough to go out for a few hours. She went to the hairdressers and then out to enjoy her favourite iced coffee.
A few days later though, Pam passed away.
“For days I drank and cried with grief, the pain was unimaginable,” said Robert. “There was a massive chunk now missing in my life and, even now, nine months down the track I sit in my little cocoon and cry myself to sleep.”
Robert has had grief counselling and takes great comfort from having his cat, Zanda, almost constantly by his side, but he says the sheer loneliness is still overwhelming.
“I’ve been away on a couple of short trips but it will never be the same as it was,” he said. “Absolutely nothing can fill that void.”
And for grey nomad couples out there living the dream, Robert’s advice is simple.
“Cherish every moment you have with that special someone in your life … hold them, hug them, and embrace them every day,” he said. “All the material things in life amount to nothing without that special someone to share it with.”
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